My "A goal" for the race was a time somewhere similar to my No Business time from two years ago - 21:50ish. Grindstone is a significantly more difficult race so this was a bit of a stretch goal. My secondary goal being to finish sub 24 hours. Regardless, I wanted to run the first half of the race fairly conservatively so that I still had legs left to run in the last 20 miles.

After hours of patiently waiting, the race was suddenly underway. Once we were running, my pre-race nerves almost immediately disappeared. This is pretty typical for me. Ryne and I settled into a nice comfortable pace somewhere in the top 20 for the first couple miles around Camp Shenandoah and through the first few miles of the Wildlife Management Area. There were no course markings through the WMA but we were instructed to follow the white trail blazes. Flying down a gravel road around mile 4, Ryne was about 100 yards in front of me and I saw him miss a turn. I tried yelling for him and a couple others guys but they couldn't hear me so I had to sprint after them for a couple yards to get their attention. Evidently the bulk of the lead pack made this same mistake. No harm done. Back on course, it was a nice downhill to the first aid station at mile 5. I had barely drank anything yet so I cruised straight through. From the Falls Hollow aid, we had the first major climb of the day up to Elliot Knob. The first couple miles were fairly runnable. The next couple were very steep on a gravel road up to the fire tower. After punching our bibs at the top, it was time for the first big downhill of the day. As expected, Ryne immediately dropped me on the descent and this was the last time I would run with him for the rest of the race. Ryne is a much stronger downhill runner than I am so this is exactly where I expected us to be separated. Almost immediately after Ryne was out of sight, my pre race mental demons reared an ugly head like never before. I don't think I have ever had a anxiety attack but this felt like it was close. I was overcome with fear, doubt and guilt. I started to question why I was even out running in the middle of the night. Why was I putting Sara and Abe through a long night and day with basically no sleep to take care of me? Why had a spent so much time away from Emery and Sara over the summer? What was the point? I was at mile 12 of a 100 miler and overcome with emotions and crying while running down the side of a mountain. I don't know why all these emotions suddenly hit me at this point. I was not physically or emotionally tired yet but my brain was already telling me to quit.

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